Author: admin

At some point over the last few decades or so, the prominence of thought and the power of thought took hold of Western thinking, and hasn’t let go since. That we should view our thoughts, as if outside ourselves. That we should sit with our thoughts. That we should try and change our thoughts in a more positive direction. That only we, as captains of our own ship, have the power to change the direction of our lives. Our thoughts have given birth to DRT, CRT, and a bevy of of other capital letter salads at the psychology buffet, in hopes of analyzing who “we”, specifically are, and why we think what we do, as if this is hidden in some far corner of the mind, just waiting to be rescued.

Certainly, the dissection of thought, it’s origins, and it’s implications on our every day choices is a worthwhile goal, but it, most times, comes at the cost of action. We are so well versed these days in the concepts surrounding changing our thought patterns, that we believe (we are made to believe) that the work is simply more thinking. You can theoretically always be working by always reading more books on thoughts and your thoughts and why you think what you do and how your mother, when you were 5, really did this thing and now you’re 56 and of course you act the way you act because of that thing. That may masquerade as the work, but does it actually change anything. Yes, perhaps the curtains are opened just a bit, but perhaps they must be ripped off, and the ripping off requires the physical. And we are not talking that much about the physical, and the physical should probably be placed in an area of more prominence.

If you absolutely abhor your job or where you live, you are now faced with three basic decisions. The first is to seek professional counseling where you can dig deep into specifically why you do not like where you live or where you work, and what you’d rather be doing (for money), as if you know this thing and merely forgot about it and are now two decades into a career which does not seem worthwhile to you, but thankfully here you remembered you always wanted to be a pilot. Often, even if you do find “clarity”, and, mind you, you’re not sure where this clarity comes from or why you didn’t know about this before you sat down on the couch at $350/hr, you will, wholeheartedly, with every fiber in your being, desire to change your life and you won’t. You won’t because the action requires the action and there is a cost to the action, but the thought, outside of the hourly fee, is very much free. The second choice is to grin and bear it. Double down. Find things from your home life and your work life that you can live with, and re-frame the way you look at these thing. In this rather grotesque scenario which is served up quite often these days, you need to actively trick yourself and deny the feelings you’re feeling every second of every day and tell yourself “No, you are wrong. This job is redeemable, as is where I live, and I simply must, no matter what genetics tell me, look at this in a different way. You are force fed the idea of being grateful for this home and job because did you know many people are dying around the world and so far your death has been postponed so please stop being so trivial about the small things in life. This will, no doubt, lead to the shrink, and we circle and circle. The third choice, the most violent of the choices, is to quit your job and move. This involves almost no thinking. This involves almost nothing other than action. It’s pure, mainline, clear action. It’s brilliant in its lack of alternative. You haven’t the faintest idea what’s behind this door but you don’t care, since you know what’s behind the others. Very few people make this choice and those that do may often regret it, but that’s almost besides the point. We are, for all intents and purposes, subjected to so much inertia to think about things rather than do the things, that doing the things is an act of revolution.

The doing the thing doesn’t have to be so drastic. It could be doing wind sprints in your backyard. It could be planting a tomato. It could be selling your car, buying a cheaper one, driving to the airport and booking a ticket to a place you see without ever once thinking “What happens if I don’t have pants for dinner.” This comes callously close to spontaneity but it is not spontaneity. It is action for actions own seek. Outrospection (interestingly, not a word) instead of introspection.

We are all too guilty of this. We stew in our emotions and we vaguely attack our problems until our lasagna is ready and then we put them to the side, waiting for our feelings to change. Then, we die. But taking the action has nothing to do with nihilism or existentialism or even re-incarnation. Taking the action helps our muscles get used to taking the action, and hopefully things work out and maybe not, but you’re much, much, much more apt to take further actions if you took the first one. Buy a stock you like. Go ballroom dancing. Divorce. Cook beans. Whatever.

What happens when all we do is think about thinking and obtain wisdom but don’t ever actually practice it. The stoics and the Buddhists and the Christians and the Jews explicitly warn us about this. Bring God into the world through action. Practice meditation not on the cushion, but in your life. All of this, all of the ancients and the old men, and all of nature tell us, implore us, scream at us, to simply take action. We should follow their advice.

The idea of sharing wealth rather than hoarding it is a rather remarkable turn in one’s viewpoint. To constantly struggle with this is natural. If you’re a bit Hobbesian, as I believe many of us are, you do your best to do your best so that you can get a bigger piece of the pie. You’re not necessarily concerned about the “why” of it, you’re satisfied with just trying to get more. Deep down, you may feel this discomfort that someone is going to take it, or you’re going to need it, and that becomes that ballast against the waves of uncertainty in everyone’s life. It provides a comfort, and whether that comfort is real or imagined, it nevertheless exists, and it tides the overwhelming anxiety surrounding just how quickly things change around you. Many argue that that is the wrong position to take.

The real work, the real gift, is to share the wealth. It is to provide all with your wisdom, your specific gifts. It is to help and to create and to make the pie much bigger. It is as close to a call of duty as you can get. Instead of hoarding, the idea is to freely give. Usually, this comes in the form of intellectual knowledge, but really this can be tangible property as well. You give and you shall receive. It’s biblical (and way before the bible came around stories like these were passed down.) Whether you have a moral responsibility to do so or whether you just believe it’s the right way to go about it, the idea is to freely give away that which you have access to. The trick-the rub here, is that you must do so without regard for the gift coming back to you. The motivation is just as important. Give, without regard of whether it comes back to you. Help without demanding thanks. David Brook’s once wrote about a nun (or maybe not, I can’t recall) who would help with the sick and the poor and the drunks. And they wouldn’t ever thank her. They’d spit at her and curse her and really just be awful. It didn’t matter. The point wasn’t that you’d get some ethical stars in return, but that you’d do the act for the sake of the righteousness of the act.

I am not righteous. Far from it. I’m quite selfish. Yet as the years fly and drag on (all at the same time) I recognize some internal pull towards the sharing and less towards the Hobbesian hoarding. Perhaps it’s kids and the idea that germinates inside you: make it better for them. Perhaps idealism and self preservation meet somewhere. I don’t really know. I know that I struggle very much with the idea of giving, rather than taking. The only other thing I know about this is that it cannot be conceptual. You must do it, over and over. Practice. Over and over. And don’t worry about the results. Just act.

Once you begin opening doors, be mindful that things can rapidly change for you. The door you opened may not be what you envisioned, it may contain things that you didn’t suspect, care for, or are prepared for. Journeys always happen like this. You must go through the thing to see the other side, but the fear in going through the thing must be acknowledged as well. When you shed your skin, realize that what is underneath might not be what you expected after all.

Instead of searching for your purpose, which is always, for some reason, to be found alone in an exotic destination, you might instead list your priorities and take steps to address each one in order of importance.

Health. Family. Relationships. Nature. Finance. Religion (or not).

If you focus on the boring, hard, tedious work, purpose typically finds you, rather than the other way around.

A really interesting question to ask yourself comes from Jerry Colonna: “How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?” This seems somewhat easy at first glance; but sitting with this for a few moments typically allows more layers to appear.

It is a rather succinct way of taking responsibility for one’s life. Of owning the work and the omissions of work. Of stopping the strong current that you claim keeps carrying you, starting around 9 am and ending around 11 pm.

How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?

How often, when you meet your friends, do you find yourself tense in the shoulders? How often do you find yourself talking over the person next to you before they’ve finished their points? How often do you feel anxious? Perhaps the true mark of friendship is the removal of the mask. It is the ability to sit in silence, comfortably, without the need to fill the empty spaces.

There is a undercurrent to these interactions; a buzz. Best to listen to it to see if you’re in the right room.

At some point, after being secured in, and after the ride begins to grind forward, you begin climbing and climbing. Your body clenches, and your brain fires and fires. You perceive what’s coming, even if this is the first time you’ve gotten on this ride. At the top, a pause, and then, plummeting and plummeting. At some point along the ascent, you are giddy, because you recognize that you have lost all control of your surroundings and what comes next. The exhilarating part is the part where you part your arms up on the way down. It is in the surrender that you feel most present; alive.

Often misunderstood as good or bad, fear is hardwired and primal to our species. We do not “get past” fear, as if it’s a marker in the sand, outside of us. We, ourselves, dictate where and what fear is. When we “push past” fear, all we’re doing is moving that marker in ourselves. When we give a speech in front of a large group, skydive, quit our jobs, marry someone, or cross a busy street, what we’re doing is redefining where the marker is, or if there really is any reason for a marker at all. We are ecstatic when we do a thing we’re fearful of, because a small, quiet part inside us realizes it was never supposed to be there to begin with. We reassess what our minds are capable of, and we feel agency over our own thoughts. Fear allows you this victory. This clarity of control. This is why we “embrace” fear; we grant ourselves the understanding that we have more power than we ever thought possible.

The focus on chasing happiness, often at all costs, disguises the ability to find contentment right where you are. Right now. We believe (we are told to believe) that happiness is somewhere else. Far, but not too far. Perceptible but slightly out of reach. To find it, one must chase it. But contentment, silent contentment, meets us right where we are. It tells us to slow down. To receive. To acknowledge the beauty of the present. That it asks us only to sit still for a moment is the very reason we want nothing to do with it. We disavow it because of its availability. Instead, we scamper about. Living in the future while forgetting the present. We should re-calibrate.